Since rabbinical school, I've gotten very used to the variety of responses that one gives to me sharing my career. I admit, I sometimes lie--especially when in settings where I just don't feel like chatting--like airplanes...I'm not a chatty flier...if you ask me a question, I'm not going to answer with something that's going to lead to more conversation. And, yes, "I'm a rabbi," almost always leads to a follow up conversation.
Sometimes, I like to think of it as a bar game. Like, if I'm at a bar or a party..."Hey--I bet you can't guess what I do for a living." I've never lost that game.
It's often a matter of the other person listing any and all personal connection to Judaism (from, oh--I met a Jew once...to, oh, I hated Hebrew School...to, I'm on my Temple Board...to, all sorts of other options). But it's always a conversation.
At any rate, in terms of dating, it's often a conversation ender. Rabbi is just not a sexy career. And many men (not making generalizations, but it's true) aren't so at peace with a strong, smart woman in a career with a good deal of power, especially power that's connected to intellect and knowledge.
Until I've entered the realm of BDSM. Suddenly, my career is sexy. As one Dom it didn't work out with said, "I love that you're a rabbi. It's just so...well...wrong." I love that.
A relative of mine once commented that I became a rabbi because it was the one career where my parents couldn't possibly not approve. Perhaps I've actively begun to pursue my submissiveness because it's the one realm where my chosen career is actually a turn on.
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I cannot believe that in all the years we've known each other we have never discussed our airplane answers to "what do you do?" I usually tell people I'm a teacher. As you know, I am not the best liar so the closer I can keep to the truth, the better.
ReplyDeleteDo you remember last summer, when every time I told a man that I was a rabbi he felt the need to tell me about his circumcision (or lack there of)? What is that?
To all of the people out there reading this (all 5 of you!):
Please, please, do not tell rabbis about your circumcisions unless...actually, I can't think of a good "unless"!
I usually go with teacher, too. And--wow--a topic that we've never discussed. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteAnd the only "unless" I can think of is if it's a male conversion candidate.