Monday, October 11, 2010

Kinky Torah: Parashat B'reishit

2:15 The Eternal God took HaAdam and placed him in the garden of Eden, to till it and tend it. 2:16 And the Eternal God commanded HaAdam, saying, "Of every tree of the garden you are free to eat; 2:17 but as for the tree of knowledge of good and bad, you must not eat of it; for as soon as you eat of it, you shall die." 3:1 Now the serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild beasts that the Eternal God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say: You shall not eat of any tree of the garden?" 3:2 The woman replied to the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the other trees of the garden. 3:3 It is only about fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden that God said: 'You shall not eat of it or touch it, lest you die.'" 3:4 And the serpent said to the woman, "You are not going to die, 3:5 but God knows that as soon as you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like divine beings who know good and bad." 3:6 When the woman saw that the tree was good for eating and a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable as a source of wisdom, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave some to her husband, and he ate. 3:7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they perceived that they were naked; and they sewed together fig leaves and made themselves loincloths.
Genesis 2:15-17, 3:1-7

When God first commands HaAdam not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge, God says nothing about touching it. According to Eve, when the command is related to her, she may not eat or touch the Tree. This gives the serpent a perfect in. All he has to do is get Eve to touch the Tree. Since, touching the Tree is not destined to kill her, once she touches it and lives the seeds of possibility are planted. Once she begins seeing possibilities, it almost doesn't matter if she eats from the Tree. She has already experimented. She has already tried something taboo. She has already begun thinking beyond the norm. And she has determined this Tree, this act of digression from what was expected of her, to be good, delightful, desirable.

Doesn't this sound a lot like the average person's experience with kink?

So much of the vanilla world tells us not to taste, not even to touch--in fact, you know what, don't even look at kink--don't even think about anything beyond the missionary pale. But what happens when we meet someone who tempts us with the possibility of having our eyes opened to all kinds of sexual expression? Such "serpents" ask us if it's really so off the wall to leave the lights on. Of course once we bring sex into the light, the seeds of possibility become planted within our sexual appetites. We start considering the many possibilities and all of the sudden we are craving...apples!

Let it be known that in Jewish tradition, this moment in "history" is considered inevitable, appropriate and even necessary. We were meant to eat of the fruit so that our eyes would be opened. We were meant to have knowledge of good and evil. We were meant to leave the garden so that we could truly experience the world.

Which also means, we were meant to have a sense of nakedness.

The serpent was not a minion of the devil. On the contrary, if not for the serpents in our lives, the ones who come along and tempt us to experiment, try something taboo, to think beyond the norm, we would be stuck in some vanilla world completely blind to all of the spicy possibilities.

So, go ahead, listen to the serpent and taste the apple and open your eyes to all of the kinky possibilities around you!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Yes, I'm still here

So, I started a new job, and I've been thinking a lot, but haven't gotten around to posting. It's not that I haven't thought about it, I just haven't gotten around to actually getting something down in writing that I'm ready to share.

Here's the major question I'm struggling with. I'd love to hear some thoughts as I'm getting through my own ideas. In teaching teens about sexuality and helping them form a healthy sexual identity and make good choices, how do I balance cultural norms with kink? Knowing that I'm submissive, how do I take that into account when teaching girls how to assert themselves? Knowing I like some pain, how do I phrase messages that are very much anti-abuse? How do I teach about thinking through these ideas openly, while not overtly teaching kids about kink? A lot of those thoughts in my mind these days...

I have some answers. But I'd also love to hear yours.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Kinky Torah: Parashat Noach

Noah began to be a master of the earth, and he planted a vineyard. And he drank of the wine and became drunk, and he uncovered himself within his tent.
Genesis 9:20-21

According to the Torah, Noah becomes the first man to cultivate grapes for the magical substance we call wine. Unfortunately, he has no idea of the potency of alcohol and gets drunk. In his drunken state, he then becomes the first flasher in recorded history, perhaps even the first masturbator of note. Most people have found alcohol to lower their inhibitions. Have enough wine, beer, scotch, whiskey, vodka (my personal favorite) and you, too, may find yourself "uncovering" your nakedness for all.

What I find really interesting is how this relates to what comes next:
And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father's nakedness, and he told his two brothers outside. ...And Noah awoke from his wine, and he knew what his small son had done to him. And he said, "Cursed be Canaan; he shall be a slave among slaves to his brethren."
Genesis 9:22, 24-25

There are a lot of theories as to what Ham does that deserves being cursed. Some say that he castrated Noah. Others say he sodomized him. Many accept the text for what it says, Ham saw his father in all of his nakedness and proceeded to tell the world, as they knew it. [Knowing the Torah, his curse could just as easily be a punishment for gossiping--Miriam & leprosy, anyone!]

Honestly, I don't necessarily care about Ham and his curse. When reading this, I cannot help noticing that while Ham gets the shaft for, well, seeing his dad's shaft, Noah is not punished at all. Noah invents liquor. Noah gets drunk. Noah exposes himself. One would think that any of these things could incur the wrath of our tradition! On the contrary, Noah has a long life after the flood and is held up by our tradition as someone who was able to rise above the evils of his community.

So, what if alcohol was not so bad after all? Maybe it is ok to get drunk sometimes. (I have got one word for you: Purim.) But more importantly than all of that--because we know that Judaism is ok with alcohol in moderation and even with getting drunk, sometimes--what if this story tells us that it is ok to be lewd. It is ok to uncover our nakedness. It may even be ok to masturbate ;)

Noah is never hand slapped for what he does because there is nothing wrong with what he does. There is nothing wrong with getting a little bit crazy. There is nothing wrong with enjoying our own bodies. In fact, one could argue that the only bad move here was Ham telling everyone about it behind Noah's back.

In honor of Noah, go have a drink. You may even want to splurge a bit and get a bit tipsy. No matter how much you decide to imbibe, this shabbat, take some time to uncover your own nakedness. Enjoy your body--there's no curse in that!

Shabbat Shalom!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Thank Gd the HHD's and Fall Festivals are Finally Over!

Is it terrible of me to be thanking Gd that Mar Cheshvan is almost here?

Thursday evening, as it was nearly time for Simchat Torah services, I was praying that no one would show up so that I could be done already. In the end, we had a nice group together for dancing with the Torah and I made it through the evening no problem. Nevertheless, I could not help having such naughty naughty thoughts.

I need discipline.

Not in the euphemistic fantastical sort of way complete with stern head masters or angry school marms, (of course, I wouldn't mind a bit of that kind of discipline either!) but for real--I am a very undisciplined woman. I have almost no sense of discipline which is one of the reasons why I love both Judaism and BDSM. Both are steeped in ritual and, therefore, both offer loosy goosy folk, such as myself, the possibility of discipline.

Here's seeing if in the intersection of these two passions of mine, I can find discipline...to write regularly!