Here's the major question I'm struggling with. I'd love to hear some thoughts as I'm getting through my own ideas. In teaching teens about sexuality and helping them form a healthy sexual identity and make good choices, how do I balance cultural norms with kink? Knowing that I'm submissive, how do I take that into account when teaching girls how to assert themselves? Knowing I like some pain, how do I phrase messages that are very much anti-abuse? How do I teach about thinking through these ideas openly, while not overtly teaching kids about kink? A lot of those thoughts in my mind these days...
I have some answers. But I'd also love to hear yours.
I would suggest that you pose a good question. Do we want to raise kids to live outside the societal norm? Do we want to turn kids into activists for something "we" believe in? I think it's unfair to them to do that. Kids have it hard enough with being different in a normal setting without setting upon them the ideas of kink and trying to shape their identity in a way we see ourselves. For instance a fat kid gets picked on. The ugly girl. The short kid. The tall kid. The smart kid. The kid with glasses. All these make a kid different enough, do we want to teach them to explore their sexuality via BDSM?
ReplyDeleteIn terms of teaching kids to assert themselves, it shouldn't be any different than teaching them to stand up for themselves and what they believe on. Be true to yourself. If a boyfriend is picking on them, stand up and leave. I would leave kink at the door especially since kids will have a more difficult time differentiating between the power of the sub to use a safe word and being in an abusive relationship. Look at the song "Love The Way You Lie." It clearly states the views people have in these relationships. Can you explain to these girls how to be submissive if that's what they choose and clearly differentiate from an abusive relationship? What if you succeed with all but one girl whereas if you never broached the subject, you might succeed with all? Let them explore their sexuality on their own. If some choose to explore BDSM, don't make it a taboo. Answer honestly without bringing your own sexuality into the class. Never make anything a taboo when teaching kids. As a teacher, you don't need to discuss your sex life even if it is appropriate.
Belatedly, I respond nonetheless. I think you miss what I was trying to say. Of course I'm not going to teach kink to my kids. And I would never share my own sexuality with those whom I teach. That would be irresponsible on a number of levels. The question I ask, really, is how do I encourage my students (whatever age) to explore their deepest (and, yes, darkest) desires while keeping to themselves and encouraging strength and independence and equality.
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